Suicide Prevention Day

A couple years ago, I heard about an artist that committed suicide. I was not a fan or followed his work, but somehow his story touched me really deep.

He was an incredible artist, recognized by his coworkers, friends and the music industry, also his beloved ones said that he was a nice person, happy, sweet, what people calls a “beautiful soul”. He left a message to his sister and a letter to one of his friends. He was having a really hard time, but what everyone saw has his bright side. The more I read the harder it hit.

It made me think about suicide and what takes a person to consider it or commit it. Then I looked back and I started to think about my situation. I was in counseling at the time because I was having a lot of emotional issues and sometimes I had this thoughts about dying. That ring the bell for me.

What made me so sensitive was that I’ve always been a bright and happy person, who loves to help and enjoys the little things of life, but at that moment there were the girl whom everyone saw, the happy one and the lonely Maria who cried every night until she fall asleep.. I never had thoughts about hurting myself but I thought about dead a lot. Deep inside I wanted to die. I couldn’t see myself 10 years ahead, I just saw myself right there but nothing further than that. Like I wasn't going to life for a long time. One day a friend told me “You need to stop thinking about dying”. That made me go to counseling.

I remember that I cried a lot because I could see myself on him. His story made me realized that there is a fine line when it comes to suicide. I understood how important was the part my friend played at the time and also the timing when you ask for help. It can mean a lot.

I was lucky enough to get help on time, to stop hiding and face what I was going through. It’s not easy and it was scary, but it helped.

We don’t have to go through our hardships alone, you can ask for help. There are hotlines where you can call if you are considering suicide, asking for help that doesn’t make you weak. .

You are not broken or deficient, you are beautiful and strong. You got this.