Big Steps Pt. 1

When did I started this journey that’s taking me to unknown lands far away from home? The more I think, the more I believe this journey started even before I notice. It started way back.

The last few months have been really amazing, God has show me how he have been preparing me for this new experience. I want to share what I've learned because the more I look back the more I realized God had everything planned even when I felt there was no way out.

I think my journey started when I decided to be a dancer, like 11 years ago while I was in high school, 2 years before my senior year, even though it took me two years after I graduated to started my Dance major, that was the first step of my journey. I had to fight against my parents but I just went for it, made the university audition and got accepted.

That was my First Big Step, to face the fear of defiance my parents and follow my dreams, to be obedient to God’s call.

At the time I wasn’t aware that that was God’s call for me. Actually I wanted to dance because it was my passion and for me was more that just being on the stage, but the ability to speak out what I couldn’t say with words. I felt like I was lost, it felt empty somehow. As the time passed by, my insecurities grew and my passion started to hide. Almost at the end of my second year I had to drop out due to an injury. That moment wrecked me and I started hating school, my teachers and dancing. I spent a few months away from the studios and after I calmed down I decided to go back where I started, a Christian dance studio that watched me grow. This time I was in charge of the expenses. It was me so I was responsible for everything. I have to say that my parents weren't happy with my decision of dropping out so I had to deal with critics and judgment from them and a lot of people of my family too.

That was the Big Step #2 , To stand up and find what I lost.

That year they were getting ready for a performance and they invited me to participate. I explained my situation to the studio director, witch she understood and told me to take it slow. The first routine I learned was about being clay on the potter’s hands and I remember that once they told us our character I prayed that I wanted to be that clay. I asked God over and over again “Father let me be clay in your hands, I want to be clay in your hands”, at the studio rehearsing and at the stage, every single time I danced that piece I had that pledge in my head.

That was the Big Step #3, to surrender to God’s will so he could change me, wreck me and rebuilt me.

This was a turning point for me. The moment I fully accepted God's will in my life, he started to work on me freely. He tested me in different areas of my life to clean, change and repair my heart. Now that I look back, I can see how he answered my pray almost immediately, like he was waiting for me to say the words just to start.

I can say this is the first part of my journey, the moment I realized I wanted to change, the next part is how He tasted me so I could grow.